Fifty shades of Gracie

That’s me, asleep in the car. My name is Gracie. I’m a Weimaraner

For a dog everything goes a little bit different. Instead of a personality I have my own special Weimaranality:

Food tastes better when it is dropped on the floor.
Staring is the only cool way to beg.
If sent to my dog-bed, I put my head down and make the biggest puppydog eyes possible.
All postal carriers are highly suspicious as most packages likely contain either dangerous explosives or food, sometimes both.
Anyone walking on a public sidewalk is on their way to play with me.
The only thing better than a ball is a ball that is in your mouth.
Used tissues in a waste basket. Why would anyone EVER throw those away? They’re delicious.
Teddy bears are made to be ripped apart.
Squirrels MUST be located and chased.
Even though I’ve been fully grown for some time now, I still fit up on the back of an easy chair if I fold my long legs just right.

I already know all the tricks to do for a treat, so you don’t really have to say them one at a time. It’s so much faster if you just let me run through all of them and get it over with.
Meat is the best.
Chicken is the best meat.
Except Turkey. Turkey is even better.
But really, they’re all good. All the meats are good.
I like my scientific dog food that comes in the mail. Not sure what is so scientific about it. But it’s good. It’s really good with meat juice added on top.
Just not as good as meat.
Sticks cannot be allowed to just wallow around all over the place. You’ve got to show them who’s boss.
Rocks taste better than you’d think.
When someone gets up from a chair or couch the spot where they were sitting is still nice and warm.

There are two good shows on Window TV. The Squirrel Show is the best, and The Songbird Hour is good too.
The other shows are all pretty boring.
If Steve stands up from a chair he’s probably heading outside to play ball with me.
If he forgets I remind him.
Sure, I know there’s a box of dog treats in the bottom cabinet, but I don’t make a big deal about it.
Of course, if anyone leaves it out I’ll stick my face into it just to see how many I can reach.
Stella lives in a house next door. She’s a Lab, but that’s OK. The best game in the world is chasing Stella.
It only takes Stella 0.3 seconds to scoot under the fence and into my yard.
If I can see her, hear her, or smell her I know Stella wants to play Chase.
If you throw up some of your food, it’s no big deal. It still tastes good.

I like to roll in stuff that smells, but it’s got to smell good.
Not sure how they do it, but raccoon poop smells really, really good.
After you go poop in the yard you should scratch some of the grass around so it flies in the air, just to make a bigger deal out of it.
When a ball is thrown the right way I can usually chase it down in under 2.5 seconds.
The right way means you use a ball thrower, not just your hand. Give it a little arc so it has some bounce and roll when it hits.
That’s 2.5 seconds.
In that picture at the top, guess what? I’m riding in the car. I love riding in the car.
The only thing better is riding in the truck. No backseat, so I’m always in the front.
I can pull. I can even pull in harness.
I can pull a skateboard or a bicycle, if you’re not too heavy.

Nobody really knows how far I can run. Every run is the perfect distance for me.
I know how to shake hands, roll over, crawl, and dance in a circle. Those are all worth a treat.
I can also fall over dead if you say “Bang.” It’s pretty easy actually.
I like to be with people in the same room.
Once I’m in the room? I like to sit by them.
Once I’m sitting by them? I like to sit on top of them.
I’m not that fond of rain.
I can find things by smell if you hide stuff. Just let me smell it first. And get the treat ready, because it doesn’t take long.
At night I like to sleep in the same room as people.
In the morning I like to go outside right away. Hey, I’m only human!

The Songbird Hour comes on pretty soon.